is your mom at the bar?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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