you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
