she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
