what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
