Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
