Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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