I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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