All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
