i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
