dude i'm inner monologue high
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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