omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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