my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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