I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
