I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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