I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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