I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
