yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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