I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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