I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
