oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
