I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
17 year olds will be the death of me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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