guess who came home with a hottie last night
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"