Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
my poor anus
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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