why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
