I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize