dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
