I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
