At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
