Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
