My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ladies don't puke and tell
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