that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
