On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
