he puts the penis in happiness.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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