Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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