I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
