On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
