so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
