he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
