Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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