sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
