what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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