the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
