there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize