her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i will never coherently bang her
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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