okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
