I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
