He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
one two three fourrrrnication!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
