I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Found your dick twin last night
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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