she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
