Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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