those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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