You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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