I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
