"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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