I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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