Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
