Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
