i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Blood and glitter go together right?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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