If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
