Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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