I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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