i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
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Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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