What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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