Already got asked if we're dating
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
