is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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