watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
