did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
