And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
