You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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