Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The ass gains better be worth it
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