im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
